Matt Verderamo is a consultant at Well Built Construction Consulting, a Baltimore-based construction consulting firm. Opinions are the author’s own.
One of the most important moments in a leader’s career is the moment they get promoted to an executive role.
Not because they now have more authority or because they finally have the title they’ve been chasing after. It matters because our leaders have a disproportionate impact on the way everyone else in the organization acts, thinks and feels. The spotlight is going to shine on you brighter than ever.
For example: I had a boss early in my career who would actively teach me how to lie to general contractors. Being a subcontractor, he would say, “We have to protect ourselves at all costs, even if that means bending the truth to save ourselves.” Then, I’d watch him lie through his teeth to our customers.
It gets worse.
I remember having conversations with him about my performance, pay or ideas for improving the company. A lot of the time he would talk fast and justify why he needed more from me, couldn’t pay more or why an idea wouldn’t work. Whether he was right or wrong, I couldn’t help but think, “This is the same person who teaches me to lie to our customers. Is he lying to me to get what he wants?”
I was never able to overcome that concern and it led to me walking away from the company.
For new leaders, let this be a lesson: Your actions are being watched by everyone. Which does not mean you need to be perfect. But you do need to get extremely aware of your imperfections so that you can work through them and build trust with your team.
New leaders must work on themselves
A lot of new leaders get into trouble when they don’t realize that imperfection is okay.
Instead of acknowledging their imperfections, they posture as something different than they are. They view imperfection as weakness. So, they hide it from everyone and end up making mistakes that everyone can see but don’t own up to them because they don’t want to lose face.
This is the wrong approach.
Most people already know what a newly promoted leader needs to work on.
They know if the person can be too sharp, or if they avoid hard conversations or if they struggle to listen. They know if they get defensive, withdraw or come in too hot under pressure.
So, when a leader acts like none of that exists, it creates a lack of trust.
In fact, people do not trust leaders because they appear perfect. They trust leaders because they appear honest. That is why self-awareness is such a powerful accelerant for new leaders.
When a leader can say, “I know one of the things I need to get better at is this,” it tells people three things immediately:
- First, this person sees reality.
- Second, they are working on it.
- Third, it is safe to tell the truth here.
That last part matters more than most executives realize. Because a promotion is a test of whether the new leader can create an environment where truth can travel upward, whether that truth is good or bad.
If people cannot give that leader feedback, the leader will grow slowly. And if the leader becomes defensive when challenged, they will unknowingly teach the team to stay quiet. Once that happens, everyone loses.
People are close-minded
I think people are not naturally great at noticing positive change in others. Even when someone is trying hard. Even when the effort is real. Even when the behavior is getting better.
Most people are busy managing their own stress, their own workload and their own interpretation of who that person has always been. They are not walking around saying, “You know, I think she is 18% more patient than she was six weeks ago.”
But once you make people aware that you are intentionally working on something, they begin to notice it.
For owners and executives, you are promoting people into bigger seats every year. Some of them were promoted because they can execute. Some because they can sell. Some because they can run work. Some because they are the best technical person available.
But the higher they go, the less success depends on their personal output and the more it depends on their ability to lead people well.
So, what should a new leader actually do?
Here is the framework:
1. Get introspective.
Before talking to the team, the leader needs to get honest with themselves. What are the two or three patterns that could limit them in this role? Be specific. Not “I want to be better with people.” More like: “I need to listen better. I need to be calmer under pressure. I need to stop shutting people down when I disagree.”
2. Tell your people what you are working on.
This is the part most leaders skip. They assume growth should stay private until it is complete. That is backwards. A simple conversation like, “I know I need to get better at this, and I am working on it,” creates trust much faster than silent effort ever will.
3. Ask for feedback directly.
Do not just say, “My door is always open.” Ask clearly. “If you see me slipping into this, I want you to tell me.” People need permission, and they need to hear that permission more than once.
4. Ask them to notice progress too.
This matters. Tell them that if they see improvement, you would appreciate hearing that too. Positive reinforcement is not needy. It is useful. It helps the leader know what is working and helps the team participate in the change.
5. Do not get defensive when the feedback comes.
This is the make-or-break moment. If the leader explains, justifies, or gets visibly irritated, the lesson to the team is immediate: “Do not bring me the truth again.” A good response sounds more like, “Thank you. That is helpful. I can see that. Keep telling me.”
If you are an owner or executive promoting people into bigger roles, teach them this early.
